


you can't kill the light

by someones_user_name



Category: Hollow Knight (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suffering, the radiance really likes to infect people
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:07:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 21,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22686739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/someones_user_name/pseuds/someones_user_name
Summary: Hornet and hollow finally think the worst of their struggle has been dealt with now that the radiance has finally been defeated, but they are oh so wrong. turns out that fate doesn't think the same. The radiance comes back with a newfound hate for all vessels and with the tiny knight out of the picture, she can freely take vengeance. so with her fury, she secretly tries to find a way to ruin their lives and possibly give her control of hollownest again.will the radiance succeed?if so, can anyone save them?
Relationships: OC/ quirrel (hollow Knight)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	1. not so humble beginnings.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry that i haven't been uploading for a while, the reason for this is because well.. im lazy. i'll try to stop being the couch potato i am and try and actually write my stories. 
> 
> Also i want you to note that this story contains OCs (other characters) that are not a part of the lore and because of this I highly suggest that you look at the character list so you understand who they are. (look at my works and you will see it, its called "just an oc list")
> 
> As always, i hope you enjoy.

-Quirrel’s POV-  
“Going back down eh?” elderbug said as you passed him, he was right you were about to go back down the well and explore some more but you didn't want him to know this so you could avoid him worrying, but now that possibility is gone.

You stopped and looked at elderbug, who was next to the bench he is always next to.

“Yes i am, and don't start worrying, i'm not going to die or get hurt” you said back.

“You sure? You always come back with a least one wound” elderbug said while pointing at your arm that was bandaged up, damn those infected bugs, and those unforgiving cliffs, and that stupid acid in the fog cannons.

“Well not this time” you lied, you knew you were going to get injured.

“You always say that” elderbug said with a sigh.

You started walking out of dirtmouth and towards the well and when you got there you stopped. While you stood at the well you thought about what you could do today. You felt like you have explored the entirety of hallownest and you didn't want to sit in dirtmouth and do nothing. After a while of thinking, you decided that you would just randomly wander around, after all, you could find something you didn't know existed. You descended the rope and hit the ground with a thump. 

You looked around and chose a random direction to go, which in this situation was right. When you got close to the black egg you thought you heard something inside it and with your curiosity peaked you couldn't ignore it. You entered the temple and you saw a bug with a pale boomerang-shaped mask and a red cloak standing in front of the hollow knight, who was kneeling down in front of the bug. The hollow knight looked pretty beaten up and that was only at a glance, you bet if you inspected them you would find many more wounds. The mystery bug turned around and when they saw you they drew their nail.

“Who are you and what are you doing here?!” they said with a half yell.

“I was just walking by and i heard something so i came to see what it was” you answer back.

“I suggest you leave immediately” they said in a warning tone.

You started backing up to leave when you saw a pale mask on the ground. The mask was broke in half and it looked familiar.

Its ghosts mask.

Your veins went cold and you froze when you realized it, when the other bug saw you stopped moving they started walking towards you.

“I said leave, and if you don't comply this nail is going to have a nice talk with your head” they said but you still didn’t move nor acknowledge that you even heard them.

They were a nails length away when they realized you were staring at something. They looked at the broken mask and they looked back at you.

“Did you know them?” they said with all past aggression gone.

“I.. they…” you stopped and recollected your thoughts.  
“yes, i did”

They sheathed their nail.

“Im… sorry, both for your loss and for my harsh treatment”  
“A friend of ghost should be a friend of mine”  
“I hope it puts you at ease that they died for all of us”

You looked at them with a confused look.

“their name was ghost?” you asked.

“It's more of a nickname” they answered.

“And what about they died for all of us?”

The other bug rose a metaphorical eyebrow and stared at you.

“You haven't noticed the lack of radiance?”

“How would they do tha-”

You were cut off by a thump and you looked over to the source of it and your eyes were met with the hollow knight, who you forgot was there, they were on the floor with a pool of something black around them. The other bug ran over to the knight and tried to lift them.

“Some help would be nice” they said with some returning aggression. 

You ran over to the hollow knight and help lift them and you were surprised at how little they weighed, the hollow knight is about as heavy as a regular bug despite being twice the size of one.

“We need to get to a hot spring so we can use its magical healing properties and there is one nearby that we could get to” said the small bug.  
“Do you know where it is?”

You took out your map while still holding the hollow knight which was hard considering the knights size. After you got the map out you looked for the hotspring which you found quickly.

You were worried about running into infected bugs along the way but surprisingly none showed up so that made the trip twice as easy but getting the huge knight down some cliffs where near impossible but despite that you both made it. When you got there the knight was quickly placed in the water by the other bug whos name you still didn't know. You looked around and you forgot how beautiful hot springs looked as the water slightly glowed white and you could feel the warmth from the hot water even though you weren't in it. The hollow knight seemed to ease up when placed in the water but the bleeding they had didn't cease. You stepped in the water with the knight to look and see where the blood was coming from and you saw their arm was gone.

Their entire arm.

You wanted to hit yourself. How did i not realize their entire arm was gone? While you were overwelhmed by how stupid you are the other bug started examing the wound.

“Oh wrym, how am i going to stop this bleeding?” you heard them mutter.  
“do you have any bandages?” they asked and looked at you.

“Yes i do” you said and took the bandages you had in case of emergency out of your bag.

“you never told me your name, did you?” they said.

“No I didn't, my name is quirrel”  
“What about you?”

“Mine is hornet” she said while taking the bandages and applying them on the hollow knight.

“Huh, what a weird name” you thought out loud.

“Your name is weird as well” hornet shot back with unneeded aggression.

“Im sorry, I didn't mean to offend you”

You both spent the next few minutes in silence as hornet patched up the hollow knights arm wound and a crack on their mask that you didn't notice earlier. Every time hornet said something to the hollow knight they took it like a command and you could tell that was aggravating her but you didn't know the reason. You usually would ask but it seems hornet gets angry easily and you didn't want to deal with it so you stayed silent.

“Hollow, can you walk?” Hornet asked the hollow knight and they tried to get up but collapsed after trying, despite this they kept trying.  
“Hollow i didn't mean it as an order to get up, i just asked” hornet said and sighed with annoyance.

“You nicknamed the hollow knight hollow?” you asked and chuckled afterwards.

Hornet gave you no response besides a sigh, you wondered if you should just leave as its obvious hornet didn't want you around. You turned to leave and hollow got up and tried to follow you but fell and made a rather loud crack despite this they kept trying.

“Hollow!” Hornet yelled and tried to get them back into the hotspring.

You went up to hollow and they stopped resisting and slid back into the hotspring.

“I was going to leave, but It seems hollow doesn't want me leaving” you said.

“Yeah, and he put another crack on their mask because of it” hornet said with an annoyed tone.

While hornet patched up hollow new crack you looked at your map.

“What are you looking for?” Hornet asked.

You looked up from your map.

“Im looking for a lifeblood deposit so we could use it to help hollow heal, it seems the nearest deposit is in greenpath” you said and continued looking at your map.

“That's not a bad idea” hornet said but when you didnt move she spoke again.  
“Well? What are you waiting for?”

“Last time I tried to leave hollow hurt themselves trying to follow me” you pointed out.

Hornet wore yet another face of annoyance and looked at hollow.

“Hollow can you stay here while he goes and gets some lifeblood?” Hornet said and hollow responded with a shake of their head.

Hornet gave hollow a scowl but she said nothing. After a while of silence and sitting hollow slumped over in their seat in the hot spring and it seemed like he was sleeping, it kinda creeped you out that hollow slept with their eyes open. When hornet noticed hollow sleeping she got up and went up to you.

“You should go get the lifeblood now that hollow is sleeping” hornet said and pointed at the door.

“But what if they wake up?”

“Ill take care of it, now go!” Hornet quietly yelled so she did not wake hollow, you started to wonder if she was using this opportunity to make you leave so she didn't have to deal with you for a while. You disregarded the thought and walked out of the room.

You looked at your map to see if you are still on the right track. You were. And soon you found yourself at the entrance of greenpath, which was covered with flowers and other plants. You walked in and you were not only slapped with the potent smell of flora you were also swarmed with plants and had to use your nail to move forward, though the scent was quite enjoyable. While you walked you prepared yourself for mosscreeps or other creatures but none were found and instead you saw many mosscreep and others bodies laying on the ground but you put the thought away as a lingering feeling of being watched the entire time was bothering you, you even heard a twig snap every now and then. 

It's just my imagination

You looked back at your map and saw that you were walking the wrong way so you started back tracking and you silently cursed to yourself as you did it. When you got back on the right path you saw something in the corner of your eye in the bushes but when you looked at it there was nothing. You moved on with a quicker pace and because of it you soon got to the lifeblood. You cut the flower and collected the glowing blue lifeblood in jars and there was enough to fill three which you were sure would be enough so you started heading back. 

When you saw the exit of greenpath up ahead you heard something in the bushes, when you turned your head to look something hit your legs and you fell back first on the ground. Your legs and back ached but you ignored this and sat up so you could look around for the source of what hit you. You saw a figure right next to you but you couldn't make out the features of them because of the darkness surrounding them, they had a nail in their hand and as soon as you tried to get up the figure put a foot on you to keep you down. 

The amount of fear you had made your body feel numb and your stomach tingle and this fear was doubled when they rose their nail above your stomach. You tried speaking but your fear made your throat tighten and not let your words out. You saw the nail come down in slow motion and you closed your eyes, waiting for the searing pain.  
-hornet’s POV-  
You had to admit without quirrel around it was very peaceful. It was a nice stroke of luck that a excuse to make quirrel leave came up. But this peace was soon interrupted by the sound of splashes in the water. The source of such annoyance was of course, hollow. You were about to scold them over getting water everywhere including on you when you realized they looked quite shaken up.

“Hollow are you ok?” you asked and hollow straightened their posture and erased all signs of worry, a skill he got from hiding their feelings from the pale king. 

“Hollow dont try and hide your feelings, i'm not the pale king, i can assure you that if you show feelings i wont be mad” you said hoping they would show even the most basic or faint sign of feeling but of course, they didn't.

That was until they realized quirrel wasn't there. Hollow spun their head around and when no quirrel was spotted they tried getting up but their legs didn't want to do that so they fell again.

“Hollow if you do that again i'll…” you started a threat but didn't finish it due to it being a futile effort to make them stop.  
“He is going to get lifeblood for you so calm down, i don't even see why you want him to be around anyway.”

Hollow thankfully stopped and laid down in the hot spring again.

“Since we are on the subject, why do you want him around?”

Hollow pointed at where their missing arm would be.

“To make sure he isn't injured or dead?”

They nodded.

“Im sure he will be fine, hallownest has become much safer now that the infection is gone”  
“Though he has been gone for quite some time” you muttered and fortunately hollow didn’t hear it.

You sat there with your worry for quirrel growing. it was weird, worrying for one of the most annoying people you've met.

Maybe im too harsh.

Quirrel was kind hearted and he obviously cares about hollow and you yet you label him as “the worst bug you have met” and you have only been around the bug for not even an hour. Hollow must have been worrying as well as their stare at the door was full of worry. You got up and you looked at hollow.

“I can tell your worrying”  
“So to put you at ease, we are going to check on him” you said, but this wasn't the real reason. The real reason is, as much as you hate it, that you were worried

hollows eyes lit up and they stood up. You ran over to hollow, expecting them to fall but they never did. After you made sure that hollow had regained their walking ability you started leading the way to greenpath. 

The road to greenpath shouldn't have been hard considering the absence of the radiance but hollows crippled ability to walk made it harder than it should have been. But even so, you still made it to greenpath. You missed the place as you haven't visited in a while and the smell mixed along with the increased greenery was all too pleasant, it reminded you of the queens gardens. 

You were snapped out of your absent minded walking by a pile of green blood on the ground, staining the leaves and grass nearby. There was a very obvious trail of blood branching from the pile into a nearby bush. Hollow bent down and inspected the blood some more while you unsheathed your nail and slowly approached the bush. You shoved the leaves out of the way and were met with a badly wounded bug with their hand covering their chest and next to the bug where three jars, two filled with glowing blue liquid and the third being empty.

This isn't just anybug  
It was quirrel

Quirrel weakly held his nail and pointed it at you but when he realized it was you he put it down next to himself. You threw your nail to the side and dropped down into a crouch next to quirrel. Quirrels hand seemed to be covering something on his chest and when you removed it you were met with a nail sized hole. You recovered the wound before you could soak in the sight.

“Im..glad to..see you” quirrel said with a chuckle that was cut short by a bloody cough.

“Shut up and save your strength” you replied in a harsh tone, though your internal feelings were everything but.

Hollow finally came over to you to see what was happening but when they realized they did nothing but stare at quirrel. If you didn't want quirrel to be sent into an early grave you would need bandages but you had none. Your head snapped around the room neck breakingly fast to find a leave or anything that could act as a bandage but anything that was even close were a tenth of the size you needed.

“Hollow i need you to stay here with quirrel while i go get something to use as a bandage” you asked and hollow quickly agreed but you were already gone by the time hollow had processed the question.  
-Hollow’s POV-  
You looked down at the dying form of quirrel as you tried comforting him but you didnt do a good job and this was evident by quirrel wearing a face of fear mixed with deadly exhaustion.

“Im..going to...die.arent i?” Quirrel said between his deep, hard to get breaths.

You shook your head firmly.

I've failed my father  
I've failed everyone in hallownest  
But i won't fail you  
I can't fail at everything  
I'm useful in someway  
right?

You were blown away from your thoughts by quirrel speaking again.

“I...had..to use..one...of..your..life..blood..jars” quirrel said, barely able to stay awake or take a breath for that matter.

Quirrels eyes began to close so you started shaking him which helped a little bit but his eyes were still closing.

“Im…sorry….” quirrel manged to say before his eyes closed.

You shook him harder but he didn't wake up. You shook harder. No response. You put your hands on your mask.

No  
I failed  
I'm nothing but a failed project  
I'm supposed to be hollow  
I'm supposed to have no free will  
I'm supposed to not think  
I'm supposed to be perfect  
Yet i'm none of those  
I'm flawed  
I'm a failed project that does nothing but fail  
Why didn't the king discard me like the others?  
He must of saw it  
He must have seen how impure i was  
He must have foreseen me failing  
So why am I here?  
Why does broken tool like me still exist?  
With no purpose i am nothing  
But this is nothing new  
As what was i before?  
I have proved that having emotions brings nothing but pain  
The only way to fix that is to be hollow  
For quirrel’s sake  
For everyone  
I will be hollow  
I am nothing  
I do not feel  
I do not..  
I do n…  
I d….  
I…..  
-Hornet’s POV-  
You run back over to where quirrel was with a armful of leaf bandages and when you got there you saw quirrel laying on the ground with his eyes closed and with no hollow nearby. You put quirrel as priority as you ran over to him and checked his pulse. He had a pulse but it was weak so you hastily applied the bandages. Once you put the bandages on you moved on to second priority, hollow. You looked around for hollow but you saw no one and when you called their name nothing happened. 

You had conflicting emotions about what to do next. You wanted to go back to the hotspring so quirrel can heal but what if hollow comes back? After a while of arguing you decided to move quirrel to the hotspring.

After a long and tiring trip of slowly moving quirrel around the forgotten crossroads you finally got to the hotspring. You dropped quirrel into the water and then sat next to him in the soothing water as the trip had given you sores. You were about to fall asleep when quirrel woke up with a jolt and a gasp. All your exhaustion vanished as you jumped up and instantly put quirrel in a crushing hug. Quirrel yelped in pain as you did it so you stopped before you hurt him more.

“You little tik!” you jokingly screamed at quirrel  
“Had me scared to death!” you yelled before retrying the hug in a more gentle manner.

“Glad..to see..at least..one..person...missed me” quirrel said with a weak chuckle.

Quirrel looked around and after he was done a worried look spread across his face.

“Where..is hollow?” quirrel asked.

Your smile was eradicated.

“Well.. I don't know” you admitted

“What… do you...mean..you dont..know?!?” quirrel tried yelling but he only managed to raise his voice a little bit past normal.

“I mean i dont know!”  
“I came back and saw you on the ground, passed out, and hollow was nowhere in sight!”

“Well then... we…. have.. to look... for them” quirrel said and tried getting up but he couldn't even get into a crouch.

You ran over to quirrel and tried stopping his efforts to get up.

“We will but first we have to wait till you heal.”

“But..what if..this..never….heals?”  
“I could...be..crippled...forever”  
“Well that..is if….I..don’t die” quirrel said with the return of the bloody cough.

Quirrel finally gave up hope of standing and slumped back into the hotspring.

“Don’t think like that”  
“If you die I will kill your spirit”  
“And don't think i won't make it painful”

Quirrel lifted his hands in a surrendering motion, but this must have hurt him as he winced as he did it.

“Im..sorry..miss hornet” quirrel said with a smile you were too familiar of.

“Alright all jokes aside, what happened?” you asked and quirrels smug smile faded away.

“I..had..hollows..lifeblood jars..and was...coming..back….with them”  
“I..was...in..a hurry...because...i had…. A feeling..of..being watched”  
“Then..when i was….almost..out of...greenpath...something came..at me..from...behind” quirrel stopped and took a breather.  
“It knocked...me….down..and..stabbed me” quirrel said with watery eyes.  
“I..didn’t...even….fight back”  
“How..pathetic..i am” quirrel said and a tear freely ran down his mask.

“Hey they caught you off guard, how could you fought back?” you said, hoping quirrel would stop blaming himself for such a thing.  
“Quirrel do you remember what they look like?”

“They..were short.. like ghosts... height.. and.. they had.. a black cloak...but i...couldn't..make...out..anything..else..it was..too dark” quirrel said with labored breaths.

“Ok, im going to take you up to dirtmouth and then im going to find whatever hurt you and return the favor ok?” 

Quirrel nodded so you picked him up and started off towards the well.

The rocky caves seemed to not want quirrel to survive as the cliffs and the platforming was made near impossible by you having to carry quirrel with you. But thankfully your torture wasnt long as the trip to the well was rather short. When you got to the well you were in an already bad mood from all the cliffs and jumps but the well just made it worse as you had to get quirrel up the well without him using his legs. Though luckily the well had a rope that you tied quirrel to and then pulled up but even then it still made your day considerably worse.

Once you got quirrel to the top of the well one of the bugs from the town came over to see what you were doing.

“What are you do-” the bug saw who you pulled up and the words died in his mouth and were replaced with something else  
“Quirrel?” the bug said in shock.

“Hey..elderbug” quirrel said with a comical smile and chuckle.

The bug, who you now know is called elderbug, came over and helped you carry quirrel.

“Quirrels house is over there” elderbug said and pointed at one of the many shell shaped houses.

You and elderbug carried quirrel into his house and placed him on his bed, which was in his bedroom. Quirrels house was small as the entire house was mostly made up by one room. But there were a couple of small rooms that branched off the main one, one of them being quirrels bedroom. Quirrel’s bedroom was very empty, having only a bed and a nightstand next to said bed.

“You have really outdone yourself this time quirrel” elderbug said to quirrel with a tint of disappointment hidden in his tone.

“Ok...maybe..i do...always..come back….injured” quirrel said

Elderbug started laughing.

“I'm glad you finally admit it” elderbug said inbetween his laughter

After elderbug stopped laughing you budged into the conversation.

“I'm going down to… deal with the bug who hurt you” you said and left quirrels bedroom.

Before you left you wanted to take a look around quirrels house, so you did. The main room that the house was almost entirely made of, seemed to be a living room or a study. The main room had a heavily used desk that had a tiny lumafly lamp and many books on it next to a bookshelf that had even more books on it, there was also a chest of some sorts that had neatly arranged tubes of… something. You had seen tubes like these in the archives but you never knew what they were or why they had them. Besides these the room was empty, well besides the papers littering the ground along with the occasional book piles. 

There were three rooms that are connected to the main one, one of them you already knew was quirrels bedroom but the others were a mystery. You solved a part of this mystery by going into one of the rooms, the room you entered looked just like quirrels bedroom except there wasn't any signs of use. You left the must be guest room and entered the other room, this room must have been the kitchen as the cupboards had some food in them, though not very much. 

The table in the middle of the room had nothing on it and 4 chairs surrounding it. The wooden counters below the cupboards had nothing on them besides an open book, the book seemed to be about history. You left the kitchen and finally left the house and marched towards the well.  
-Quirrel’s POV-  
“Your friend there is a smart one” elderbug says while inspecting your wounds.

“How..so” you ask.

“Oh these leaf bandages, these leafs don't only act as a bandage by soaking up blood they also are good at keeping infection at bay.” elderbug said, surprising you with his knowledge.

“Im...surprised..you know that” you say.  
“Arent..i the scholar..here?”

Elderbug chuckles.

“I honestly don't remember how i learned that either”

Elderbug stops looking at your wounds and goes to the door.

“I'm going to get some cloth bandages but i'll be right back, ok?”

“Don't.. be too...long”

Elderbug exits the room leaving you with your thoughts, which drifted off to hollow.

Where did they go?  
Why did they go?  
Because of me, surely  
they thought i died  
And they snapped  
They was already going through so much  
After i heal i need to look for them  
What if they are injured?  
What if they need help?  
What if they are already dea-

Your thoughts were shattered by elderbug rentering the room with cloth bandages. Elderbug then replaced the crude leaf bandages with them and then sat on the nightstand next to your bed.

“What even happened to get you this injured?” elderbug probed.

“Long story...short.. I was surprised.. From behind.”

“Oh i see”  
“Who is the bug who brought you up here, I would have asked myself but she already left”

“She is hornet… I met… her in.. the black….egg”  
“She was with…. the hollow knight”

“The hollow knight?”  
“I thought they were long dead”  
“Where are they now? As i see they aren't with you”

“They ran...away..they thought….i died when..i got injured”

“A shame that is”  
“Speaking of vessels, how is ghost?”  
“I haven't seen them in a while, im sure you’ve seen them at least once”

Your heart stopped and all your blood turned to ice. You had forgotten about ghosts death, and you wish it stayed that way. Your eyes watered up as memories of you and ghost flew past your eyes, though there weren't many due to the short length of each meeting and how few there were. Elderbug saw that something was amiss and a worried look surfaced.

“Is something wrong?” elderbug asked.

“Ghost….is...dead” you said but this time it wasn't your injuries that made you choke on your words, this time it was your sadness.

Elderbugs face went blank, blank as a husks.

“..what?” elderbug slowly and painfully said.

“I..found their...mask in….the black egg”

“Im..sorry, i have to go” elderbug said and got off the nightstand to leave.

Once elderbug had left you let the tears that you had been holding on to go.

If only i was there  
how late was i?  
Minutes?  
Seconds?

Your mind flashes to the last memory you had of ghost

You sit there, on the shore of the blue lake with its soothing waters calling to you.  
Almost begging you to step in..  
You were about to step in the water when you hear the small pitter patter of your small companion. They walk up next to you and stare at you, like they always do.

“Again we meet my short friend. Here at last, I feel at peace.”  
“Perhaps you feel it too? Maybe that is why we meet at such a place.”

They stood there, not moving in the slightest, not even the slightest motion of a breath.

Do they even breath?

“Twice i’ve seen this world and though my service may have stripped the first experience from me, I'm thankful I could witness its beauty again.”

They sit down next to you and you notice a slight chill in the air

Do they radiate cold?

“Hallownest is a vast and wondrous thing, but in as many wonders as it holds, i’ve seen none quite so intriguing as you.”

You pause expecting an answer but none came.

Maybe they truly can't speak

“Ha. my flattery returns only silent stoicism. I like that”  
“I like that very much”

You stop talking, as you have nothing else to say and sit there with now not only the blue lake but the small one as well. Time passes, it must have been an hour of you sitting there but yet your friend stays.

“I would think that you’d be gone, continuing your endless trek around hallownest, but you stay. Why is this?”

Your friend looks at you, their empty eyes burrowing into your soul, but you’ve gotten used to such as you and your friend have spent much time together.

“What is it you want to say, friend? Oh how i wish you could speak, the stories you’d tell, the wonders you’d share.”

They point at you.

“Ah, but what about me?”

They point at the lake which panics you a bit.

Do they know what im thinking?

“I don't see what your getting at, im just here for the peace, nothing more” you lie.

They shake their head and point at the water. You are really considering the possibility that they have the power of mind reading.

“Your leading me to more confusion” you lie again.

They stare at you and you thought you could see the worry in their eyes.

“I… you know don’t you? You know the true meaning of me staying.”

They nod. You sigh.

“I don't see the point, of continuing that is. I’ve got no purpose any longer, and no friends besides you to return to.. And that wont be so for much longer..”

They pull out their map and point to a location on it, dirtmouth. You’ve been there but no for long as you always went into the underground, you practically live in the depths of hallownest.

“You want me to settle down?”

They nod.

“What you ask, goes against my entire life. im an explorer, once i explore hallownest i will move on to the next kingdom, but, for you, I will accept. As you being my only remaining friend, i will make an exception.”

They put the map away and stare at you.

“Ok, i’ll go there now” you say and start walking.

You stop once you are almost at the exit of the room and look back, to see your friend sitting down on the shore, like you were moments ago. You turn around and start walking again.

Dirtmouth here I come.  
-Hollow’s POV-  
You sat on the crown of hallownest, the strong wind blowing your cloak and threating to blow you away to if you didn't hold your ground. In front of you laid the raidances statue. you needed to see the radiance once again. 

to try again  
to not fail  
To be hollow  
To have father be proud

Yet this is just a statue, you can't try again. You failed

But i will not fail again

You turn away and are about to walk away when you turn back and draw your nail. You raise your nail and bring it down on the radiance with all your fury and anger, breaking down the already broken statue. You slash again, again, again, and again until it is nothing but rubble. 

I am hollow  
I am supposed to have no anger  
No fury  
But just this once  
I don't care  
Just this once  
Never again

You turn away and walk away, feeling better now that you have ridding yourself of your anger. You take one step  
Two steps  
Three  
Four  
Fiv-  
You hear something, you smell something

Sweet, too sweet.

You turn around and you see them.

The radiance  
“Are you surprised?” the god taunts  
“Well you shouldn't be”  
“You can’t kill the light”  
“I'll make sure to have that drilled into your mind when im done”

You point your nail at the radiance.

You have no fear

You take a step forward, towards the genocidal god

No anger

The god smiles, amused by such determination.

No happiness

You take another step and you think you hear the god chuckle

No sadness

You stop in front of the god, your nail now meeting their chest

No weakness

You raise your nail, ready to strike.

That all died with quirrel.

And you swing…

You miss.

“How cute” the god says with a smirk  
“You feel so powerful, don't you?”  
“I'd hate to take such a thing away from you”  
“Oh wait…. I wouldnt”

You turn around and see the god again, you swing again with the same determination but the god simply teleports away. You try again and the god teleports behind you and sends a magical spear into your back. You fall.

“Awww”  
“You made that too easy” the god taunts  
“Oh well, it was enough to see your determination crushed”

You try and get up but the god shoves you down again.

“Or am I mistaken?”  
“I must be”  
“I think it's time to show you whos really in control”

Suddenly a burning sensation fills your entire body and a blinding light shines in your eyes. You feel the god slowly take control of you. First your arms, then your legs, then your mind.. Despite this you fight, not discouraged in the slightest.

“Whats this?”  
“Your still fighting?”  
“You’ve gotten more resilient I see”  
“But your so called father was wrong, not even a truly hollow creature can stop me”  
“They can resist my control though, but even then, i'll just crush them like the bug they are”  
“And don't worry, i know how to crush your determination”  
“I'll make you kill your friends, one by one”  
“Even quirrel”  
The world seems to stop and your fighting spirit dies.

“Yes, he is still alive but don't worry, I won't let that continue much longer”

You surge with anger but like the last time you dealt with the radiance, it only makes it worse.

“Miss me?”


	2. new friends.. or family?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the OCs are introduced into the mix. I also finally got the formatting to work.
> 
> (word count goal: 5,000")
> 
> (actual word count: 7,219)

\--Shadow’s POV--

You slowly crept through greenpath while making sure you were close to the dark and you went into high grass whenever the chance showed itself. The grass and other flora projected a nice sent, which was the normal for you as you never left greenpath, it has gotten to a point where any other sent feels unnatural.

Greenpath has become very quiet, like every creature had gotten plus 100 added to their sneaking skills, but that's unrealistic as if that were the case you would still be able to find them. As these types of thoughts filled your head you pulled out your brittle handwritten map and scanned it for a place you haven't searched for creatures.

It was a little difficult to read the map as it was just scribbles on a scrap of paper but you managed. Your eyes sniped near the entrance of greenpath, exactly in the area you attacked a sort of pillbug not too long ago. You put your map away you started creeping toward the area.

As you crept your thoughts shifted to a different sort of thinking. Maybe you should just stop and rest as its obvious everything in greenpath decided to flop over and die, which was a huge victory for you as your entire goal was to make greenpath as safe for yourself as possible and this greatly helped you if not completed that goal by itself. 

You heard something,  _ slight shuffling _ . The shuffling was very noticeable even in its silence as the still air was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. You stopped dead in your tracks and poked your head out of the bushes to look for the cause of the noise. You saw a creature with a strangely shaped pale mask and a red cloak, though it looked more like a dress.

You shot you head back into the bushes without a noise and waited. You waited for the bug to be nearby the bush you were in and you could tell this by how loud the noise was. You looked at the bug from inside the bush and saw that its back was facing you.

This was a perfect opportunity for a sneak attack so you hopped out the bush and slowly approached from behind. There is a certain point where your so close it doesn't even matter how quiet you are as somehow the other bug knows your there, so to avoid this when you are at that point you go into a full out dash, hoping that you get in stabbing range before the bug can react. This seems to work well until the bug spins around and swings their nail.. Or needle, you manage to block the attack but due to your lack of skill with a nail you couldn't deliver a counter. 

You start backing up so you can do the second best thing you are good at. Running. The bug starts running at you with their nail raised so you start the chase by making a life or death marathon in the other direction. You cursed yourself for being so slow with the sneak attack while you run and after a bit of it, it looks like you are stretching the gap between you and the other creature.

Your adrenaline finally kicks in and you start to run twice as fast. You see a corner you can round and you get ready to do it when something hits your back. A flaming spike of pain rockets up your back and you fall mask first on the ground, adding mask pain to the pile.

You try and get up but the speedy bug is on you before you could get going again. You feel something poking at your back and you don't need to even see it to know it is its weapon.

“Throw your nail to the side, now” the bug says in a commanding and a smidge angry tone.

You do as it says and it turns you over on your back. It then starts studying you and after a few seconds you see surprise form in its eyes.

“A vessel? I thought they all died..” the bug says with.. Awe?

_ Vessel? _

_ How do they know that? _

_ Are they a guard? _

_ No _

_ I'm not going back _

_ I'm not going to the abyss _

_ Please _

_ I'll do anything _

_ I'll be your servant _

_ I'll be.. Hollow _

You squirm under the bugs foot and the bugs face softens.

“Wait, i'm not a part of the pale ones government, i'm a sibling” the bug spits out in a surprisingly soft tone.

You ignore their lies and keep struggling.

“I'm going to let you go but don't run ok?” they say and you stop moving, considering what they said.

They do as they said and let you go. You back up and consider running but dismiss it as you consider what they have said. You pick up you nail and ready it at your side, though you know if they attacked you wouldn't be able to do anything with your nail, both due to their skill with a nail and your lack of it.

You approach them and point at their cloak which gives them a confused look. You point at your void black body and then at theirs. They understood and parted their cloak and you saw the same inky black void you are made of. You pointed at where your mouth would be if you had one and unlike last time, they understood.

“I can talk because.. I was special” the bug vaguely answered.

You would smile if you could but due to the king you can't. But this doesn't stop you from expressing your happiness by putting your new sibling in a god crushing hug. The hug didn't last long as the sibling pulled away from the hug, disappointing you but not taking your happiness.

“What's your name?” your sibling asked.

You pointed at a nearby dark corner.

“Dark? Black?” your sibling guessed.

You saw that you weren't getting the point across so you instead pointed at your siblings shadow and a slap of realization went across their face.

“Shadow!” your sibling half yelled.

You nodded and then pointed at your sibling.

“Hornet” hornet answered.

You did a tiny jump of happiness.

“Well.. I have to go and take care of one of my friends”

“So hopefully we meet again” hornet said and took her map out.

When hornet started walking away you followed her, not willing to lose your new sibling so early.

Hornet noticed this and stopped.

“Let me guess.. You want to come?” Hornet sighed.

You nodded.

“I don't know how.. My friend will react”

You gave her a confused tilt of the head. 

“Nevermind.. You can come” hornet said and started walking again.

You followed with a newly spawned batch of happiness.

_ could this day get any better? _

\--Quirrel’s POV--

You laid in bed doing… nothing. What could you do besides sit there and stare at a wall?

You would kill many bugs just to be able to get up and walk around, but the only bug around to kill is elderbug and you wouldn't even consider it for a millionth of a nanosecond. Speaking of elderbug he enters the room and walks over to the side of the bed, his face shows a hint of sadness but you can't blame him as your pillow was soaked with tears caused by an hour of nothing but grieving over ghost, and the only reason you aren't doing that right now is because you ran out of tears. 

“I know you might want to be alone bu-” elderbug says but you cut him off.

“No actually...I would rather... this” you reinsure him.

“Well, i came here to tell you hornet is back”

“And it seems with someone else” 

“Who would… that be?” you ask.

“I have no idea, but she is coming this way right now so you can ask her yourself.”

“I will..”

Elderbug slightly smiles.

“Your getting a bit better, you can speak a little better” elderbug says.

“What are you… a doctor?” you say and elderbug chuckles a bit.

“That would be nice” elderbug says.

“Say.. what did.. You do in… this town?”

Elderbug sits on your nightstand.

“Well, I guess you can say i was a little of everything, I gardened a little, I ran a little shop, I helped the sick a bit, just a little bit of everything.”

You were about to respond when hornet opened the door and walked in, some small figure following behind.

“Why, welcome back!” elderbug said in a tiny yell.

“I take it your adventure went well”

“Well..” hornet started but elderbug interrupted her.

“Whos the little one by the way?” elderbug said

“If you don't interrupt me i could tell you!” Hornet said with her anger and voice already rising.

“Im sor-” elderbug started but just like he had done to her hornet cut him off.

“The small one here is a vessel i found”

You shifted your attention from hornet to the vessel, they were about the same size as ghost but their mask and cloak was all black. The vessel also had two small horns that curved downwards. The more you examined him the more your heart sank.

_ The short figure _

_ The blackness _

_ The small downwards horns _

_ They were the one who attacked me. _

“They also happen to be the one who..” her words came to a slow halt but you knew what she was going to say so you finished it for her.

“Who attacked..me” you said.

The vessel seemed confused, looking at their surroundings and taking in the sight of elderbug. Then they saw you. They must have made the conclusion you did as you swear to wrym you saw in those empty eyes their heart crumble. They froze on the spot, them stuck staring at you and you at them, hornet realized what was going on and was about to say something when the vessel dashed out of the room. Hornet quickly went after them as you and elderbug were still comprehending the situation.

“I'm going to go after them..” elderbug said and slowly stepped out of the room.

That left you there, all alone once again with nothing but your ghost focused thoughts. You kept thinking about the black egg, where ghosts mask still lays. You had to get it, he died for you and here you were lying in a bed slowly fading away. If you died, which was still a real possibility, you wanted it to be with ghosts mask in your hands. You tried for the fourth time today to get up and you found that you could.. You wish. 

You could only lay there and go through your thoughts, which were not helping. Thankfully hornet, elderbug, and the damn vessel came back before you went insane.

“I'm sorry about that” hornet said while she entered the room.

The vessel was staring at the floor in shame and you couldn't help but feel bad for the tiny thing.    
  
“Hey...its okay..i don't blame… you” you told the vessel and they stopped staring at the floor.

They seemed to be little better which in turn also made you feel better. You took your attention away from the vessel and to elderbug.

“How long until.. I can walk?” you said and elderbug went into thought.

“Well.. it seems your recovering quite nicely.. So i'd say without anything that can speed up the process.. 3 days” elderbug concluded.

“Can we.. shorten the time..span?” you asked, hoping for a yes.

“Why, of course, if you can get lifeblood that is”

You glanced at hornet who was already rolling her eyes from behind her mask.

“Im on it” she said and left the room.

The vessel was about to follow hornet but elderbug stopped them.

“Why don't you talk with us for a bit?” elderbug said and they guestered for them to come over to the bed.

They stood still, considering the option, and then walked over to the bedside.

“Hornet never told us your name” elderbug said in his oh so polite voice.

They made a gesture like they had a pencil in their hand and were writing. Elderbug understood what they meant and got up and left only to return with a paper and pencil. Elderbug gave it to them. They scribbled something on it and turned it for you and elderbug to see. It read  _ shadow _

“Shadow huh? Not the weirdest i’ve heard”

“My name is elderbug, as you could probably imagine, and my friend here is quirrel.” he said and you slightly waved when the vessel looked at you.

“I can see you’ve met hornet, she usually isn't this calm or nice.”

“But this is a nice change of pace” elderbug said with elicited a chuckle from you.

“Hey elderbug… can you get.. Something for me?” you ask which gets elderbugs attention.

“What is it you desire?” elderbug asks

“Ghosts mask.. Its in the bla-” you cough into your hands and when you withdraw you see blood in it, you hide this from elderbug so he didn't worry.

“The black.. Egg”

Elderbug frowns.

“You know how i feel about the underground” elderbug starts to argue.

“Its important..” you said back.

Elderbug sighed 

“Just because you asked” elderbugs says and leaves the room, with the vessel following behind. 

This leaves you once again alone on the bed. You close your eyes and try to get some rest so perhaps you will heal faster. 

It seems like you only sleep for a minute when You awake to being shook by elderbug but you know it must have been more than that.

“I got the mask” elderbug says with a slightly sad tone you can't place.

You take the two broken mask halves with appreciation and put them on the nightstand next you. The vessel, who you didn't know was in the room, went up to the mask and started inspecting it.

“That's.. My friend.. Or he.. used to be” you say and the vessel puts the mask down instantly.

The vessel goes next to elderbug.

“Well.. unless you need anything else, i'll be gone now” elderbug says and leaves the room, shadow stays in the room for a few seconds but then quickly follows in the footsteps of elderbug. Which for the 10th time today leaves you alone.

_ Yay more me time _

\--Hollow’s POV--

The god forces you to walk to the edge of the cliff.

_ “Do you see that down there?” radiance asks. _

You look down and in the distance you barely see dirtmouth.

_ “Your friends are there, just waiting for you” _

_ “And they’ll get you, just not in the form they want” _

The god chuckles.

_ “I wonder, should i infect and torture quirrel first before you kill him?” _

_ “Maybe that's too harsh” _

You try and fight when she speaks about quirrel but her influence makes it so you can't move.

_ “I'm surprised you remember quirrel after so long, the last time you saw him was before the infection started.” _

_ “And it's not like he remembers you” _

The burn inside you starts to intensify.

_ “Oh how i’ve missed breaking your fragile body” _

The burn is getting to an unbearable point and you drop to your knees. Just before you start begging for mercy it all stops, much to your relief.

_ “But not this time, i need you in good shape” _

_ “Oh would you look at that?”  _

The god makes you turn your head and in the distance you can see elderbug looking at you along with hornet and a vessel who you haven seen before.

_ “It looks like they’ve seen us” _

_ “How perfect this is turning out!” the god says and chuckles once again _

_ “I barely have to do anything, first you come to me, then they come to me as well” _

_ “Oh this is amazing” _

_ “It's too easy though..” _

_ “So you know what?” _

_ “I'm not going to hurt them” _

_ “I'll save it for later” _

_ “Let them come up here as you won't be here much longer” _

You want to scream to break these invisible chains that the radiance has put around you but nothing you do works. The god makes you start walking.

_ “Not only quirrel is going to die” _

_ “I’ll make sure of it” _

\--Hornet’s POV--

You enter Quirrel’s room with his requested lifeblood and he smiles when he sees you.

“Your back..” hes says.

You look around the room and see no one, which was unexpected as elderbug is almost always with quirrel. You dismiss the thought and give quirrel the lifeblood, which he instantly gulps down.

“There was only enough for one jar but i think that should be enough” you say and quirrel nods.

You are about to leave when quirrel starts having a coughing fit, a long one as well. When the fit is done quirrel takes his arm away from his mouth only to see it has blood on it, which you dont think is very healthy.

“Are you ok quirrel?” you ask.

“Im fine..” quirrel responds.

You are about to leave to get elderbug, who is now the town doctor for some reason, when elderbug enters the room with shadow following.

“You guys are looking for the hollow knight right?”

You nodded and so did quirrel.

“I think i saw him”

“What?!” both you and quirrel yell.

“Come on out and see, well not you quirrel”

Quirrel gives a disappointed sigh but you follow elderbug outside and he points at hallownests crown. And just like he said, there was hollow up on top.

“Well, im going up there then”

The vessel that you forgot about was tugging at your cloak, obviously wanting to come.

“Sure, you can come as well” you say and look back up to where hollow was.

Hollow was no longer there. You started to walk towards the elevator when you remember quirrels coughing fit, you stopped.

“Elderbug can you check on quirrel for me?” you asked and with a nod elderbug was off towards quirrels house.

You and shadow ran to the elevator and shadow hit the switch with their nail. The elevator started going up and it soon reached its destination. You pulled out your map and looked for the fastest way to the crown and you sighed as it was a far walk. You put the map away and kept walking. 

\--ruby’s POV--

You were walking the oh so familiar grounds of crystal peak while looking around for something new, like a unexplored path or anything really. Your mask ached from the invading crystals that grew on your mask, but this was nothing new. You jumped across the platforms almost mindlessly as memory did the job for you. 

You usually had to run from creatures or even take a different route because of them but recently it seems all of them have died, littering the ground with dead husks. You felt bad for the miners, but they were already a lost cause so you didn’t feel too horrible. You scanned your mental map of crystal peak, thinking of a place you could go but you found that you didn’t want to go anywhere. 

Maybe you should venture outside crystal peaks? It would probably be dangerous but you couldn’t imagine the wonders that you could find. Your thoughts were scattered by the sound of footsteps. You paused and looked around for where the bug who was causing this was located and you soon saw not one but two bugs jumping around the platforms.

They were having a tough time as they looked tired and sometimes they almost missed the jump, which would have been a fatal mistake. One bug had a tuning fork shaped pale mask with a red cloak and the other bug that was trailing them were small and had two small horns that were located on the sides of their jat black mask and are they were curving down. Their cloak was a matching black as the mask. It looked like a sibling

_ Was it a sibling? _

In fact, they both looked like siblings if you really looked. You started following them and from the route they were taking, it seemed like they were going to the crown, a place you loved but didn’t visit often. When they reached the crown they looked as if they were expecting something and it wasn’t there. They both turned to go back down and the bug in the red cloak spotted you. They drew their needle and you started backing up.

They approached so you started running but didn't get far as one of them threw something at you and knocked you down. The red one walked up to you and picked up a needle on the ground, which is probably what hit you, and pinned you on the ground with a foot and turned you over. The small one, who you knew now was a sibling did a little jump in giddiness. 

“Another vessel? The king did a horrible job cleaning up his failed experiments, I'm not complaining though.”

You tried knocking off the foot but to no avail. 

“Hey, im not going to hurt you.”

“I'm going to let you go, ok?”

And to your surprise they actually did. You got up in an instant and you thought about running again but what about your sibling? You looked at your sibling who looked happy and you knew why. Your sibling came in for a hug which you happily accept. The bug in the red cloak just stood there watching with a smile.

The hug lasted what felt like 10 minutes and when your sibling pulled away you found disappointment welling up inside you. You looked at the bug with the red cloak and pointed at them.

“My name? My name is hornet and your siblings here is shadow.”

“What would yours be?”

You pointed at the many crystals growing on your mask.

“Crystal?”

You shook your head.

“Pink?”

You shook your head once again.

“Am i on the right track?”

Yet another shake of your head.

“Is it certain type of crystal”

You nodded.

“Saffire?”

You pointed at the red cloak

“Ruby?”

You nodded. Hornet sighed her relief that the guessing game was over.

“Well we should be going back home, we have a friend who we need to take care of” hornet said.

You went up to hornet and tugged on her cloak which made her sigh.

“Yes you can come”

She muttered something to herself that was about “a full house” but you didn't catch all of it. Hornet started leading the way though she seemed to go a little slow so you started leading instead. Which made the trip much faster due to your vivid memory of the crystal peaks.

\--Quirrel’s POV--

You woke up to elderbug standing over you, which was kinda creepy. He didn't notice you were awake at first but after a few seconds he realized you were awake.

“You’re finally awake.”

“Why are you.. Standing over me?”

“Hornet told me to check up on you”

“Actually can you try and get up? you should be able to stand now that you have had some lifeblood”

You sat up in your bed and got off it. You were pretty shaky but you were standing and that was enough for an entire party.

“Ok now can you walk?”

You took a few shaky steps forward and elderbug seemed happy.

“This is good news, you are recovering nicely”

“Though im not a doctor so I can’t really say”

“So I finally can go back ...underground, oh how i’ve missed ...the blue lake”

Elderbug’s smile vanished.

“What? No.”

“The underground is way to dangerous, you just got the ability to walk for wryms sake!”

You frowned but didn't argue. When elderbug saw that the conversation was over he left. You didn’t care what elderbug said, you were going to the blue lake. You left your house and ran over the well, thankfully without elderbug noticing. You slowly climbed down the well and started heading to the blue lake.

When you got to the entrance of the blue lake, you took a little rest as your injury keeps sapping energy from you. When you had enough energy to continue you entered and were met with the large lake and a figure sitting at the shore of it, the figure was staring out at the water. You could tell from here it was heavily infected as there was orange blood leaking out of it. The figure looked like a vessel.

_ It was a vessel _

This vessel had four short horns, two on each side of the vessel’s mask that are slightly curving upwards with the upper ones are a little bigger than the lower. but there was a hole in the vessels mask, on the upper left said to be precise. Orange infection was slightly spilling from the hole and there was a jet black blood soaked bandage covering half of the hole. A nail was on the ground next to the vessel. 

You were about to leave when the vessel got up and turned around, spotting you. You froze in place with your hand on your nail, expecting the vessel to charge you but they just stood still. You both stayed like that for about a minute. You were very confused to say the least.

_ Why was it not showing any hostility? _

_ How was it infected in the first place? _

_ Isn't the radiance gone? _

You approached the vessel which probably wasn’t the best idea you have had. The vessel backed up when you got close. You being the scholar you are made you very curious so you didn’t attack the vessel, that was unless they attacked you. You inspected the vessel in front of you. Their mask was very beaten up, though it seems most of the cracks were repaired by someone. The vessels eyes were nothing but a strong orange glow, reinforcing the idea that they were heavily infected. Their hands were twitching a bit which made you a little nervous.

“How interesting..” you muttered to yourself.

The vessel out of nowhere put its hands on their eyes and started clawing at them. it was like it was somehow still fighting the infection, even though by this stage of infection they should have lost control a long time ago. You grabbed their hands so they would stop clawing their eyes.

“Hey, focus on me ...and ignore the ..radiance” you said, hoping that it would help as you really didn’t know what being infected felt like.

It seemed to help as they stopped clawing their eyes and focused on you.

“My name is ..qurriel, what would be ...your name?” you say with your wound making you jumble with your words.

The vessel made a shaky writing gesture so you took out your journal that you have for your adventure and ripped out a page, you gave them the page and a pencil you had along with it. They scribble.. Something on it. Their shaky hands could not make legible words that you could read, but you tried anyway. After a while of scrutinizing the word you can finally see something.

The first letter looks like a W or maybe a V.

The second letter is probably a L or an i.

The third is an r, you couldn’t mistake it

The fourth could be a v but most likely is a u.

The fifth looks like a scribble but you can see it being an s.

You do a game of mix and match in your head and come up with virus.

“Virus?” you ask and the vessel slowly nods, like it hurts to do so.

“How... ironic..” you mutter under your breath.

Virus drops the paper and pencil to put their hands on their eyes again and when you try and remove them you can’t, it’s like the hands are glued to the mask.

“Hey, its okay..focus on me”

Virus removes their hands from their eyes and infection leaks out like tears, like they are crying.

_ Perhaps they might be. _

“How long ...have you been... like this?”

You bent down and picked up the paper and pencil to give it to them. When virus has it they start writing. You take it when they stop writing and do another game of mix and match in your head and get:  _ don’t know, 4 months? _

You were taken aback by the statement to say the least, an infected bug usually could only last a week or two. You thought that maybe vessels were more resistant to infection than regular bugs as this is the only vessel you’ve seen that’s infected.

“How were ...you infected?” you said and you regretted it as soon as you realized they were writing a long answer.

You did yet another game of mix and match and you found that this game was now your most hated game. Though you still found the right answer, which was:  _ I was dying, light gave deal of life, accepted it, I regret, voices won't stop, barely control self _

The answer was more than you expected but it answered your question. You thought about what to do with virus, you didn’t want to bring them home for the reason of hornet killing them or them losing control and hurting you or others, but at the same time you don’t want to leave them here. You decided for the best of both options, you were going to bring them close to home but not too close so hornet didn’t know.

“Would you ..like to come with ...me?” you asked and virus seemed to think about it, but in the end, they nodded.

You made the trip back to the well, which wasn’t too far but it wasn’t short either. When you reached the well, you became very cautious of hornet or elderbug. You and virus climbed the well and made your way to a house that was near the elevator to crystal peak. The house was built into the stone wall of a cliff and it was seemingly abandoned. The entire house was one room that was lit by many candles, which was weird but as long hornet didn’t come here often you were fine with it.

“I have friends that wouldn’t… understand you and they would ..hurt you so i'm going to ...leave you here, and don’t ...worry I'll be back” 

Virus nodded and they collapsed onto their knees, you were surprised that they made the journey without collapsing as you knew that all infected bugs body’s were abused by the infection, making them frail and weak. You felt bad for virus as you know they are in tremendous pain constantly but you couldn’t help. You were about to leave when virus started the hands on eyes thing again. You walked back up to virus and told him calming things but they didn’t seem to work, which was worrying you. 

Virus started clawing at his mask and when you grabbed their hands they tried to yank their hands out of your grasp. One of their hands got out of your grasp and it shot to virus nail holster, but the nail wasn’t there as they left it at the blue lake and you thanked the lords for that as if that wasn’t the case you would be pill bug on a stick. After a minute virus finally calmed down and stopped. 

“Are you ...ok now?” you asked and virus slowly nodded.

The outburst that virus just had worried you so you considered locking virus in, just in case they lost control. Hopefully they understand

“I'm going to… lock the door.. If thats.. Ok with you” you asked and virus hastily nodded, which made you sigh in relief but you also were confused by their quick and non reluctant answer.

“I'm going ..to go now” you say and leave.

After you make sure the closed door is locked you start walking towards dirtmouth.

\--Virus’s POV--

You sit at the blue lake, the only place that can truly give you peace, the only place that stops the voices. Every joint you had was in burning pain which is due to the infection that coursed through your veins, you also felt nauseous and tired. But all of these things were a constant effect so you were mostly used to them. 

You had your nail next to you just in case someone were to come up and fight you, which was common as bugs only saw you as a simple infected bug that they could take down. But this isn’t the case, you beat all of them but you let them run away. You got many injuries from the fights but you know how to heal yourself so it wasn’t a big problem. Though you had to kill a few as they wouldn’t run, which you hated doing as your only goal in life was to help others, at any cost.

But this damn infection killed all hope of that. Burning Infected orange dripped from your eyes, some drops landing in the water and staining it a putrid orange. You realized you have been sitting for a while so you got up on shaky legs, caused by your infection wrathed body. You felt pain in your stomach and you felt like throwing up, but due to your lack of mouth, infection leaked from your eyes instead. You turned around and saw a bug, a pillbug to be specific. The pillbug had many bandages covering something on his stomach, a wound if you had to guess. 

The crusty bandages were stained green from the bugs blood, if they had a bad wound you probably could help them as you were at least a tiny bit of a good doctor. But this wouldn’t happen because they would probably run or fight you, none of which you wanted. You stood there and so did the bug, you both staring each other down. After a while the bug slowly approached you and when they got close you backed up a bit, not wanting to be too close when they attack or you lose control. The bug muttered something but you didn’t catch what they said.

The bug looked at you, inspecting you like an experiment. Their curiosity reminded you of the pale king, though this bug didn't have the authoritative voice. After a while the dreaded whispers that control you returned as your head was filled with blood craving voices.

_ Kill them _

_ They are right there _

_ In front of you, waiting to get stabbed _

_ Take your nail _

_ And chop them up _

_ Slowly _

_ Make them feel their blood flow down their body _

_ Make them feel pain _

_ Grind them up _

_ Do it. _

_ DO IT. _

**_DO IT._ **

Your hands shot up to your eyes as you started clawing at them, making pain flare up in your mask.

_ Make them stop. _

_ I don’t want to kill _

_ MAKE  _

_ I don’t want to be another one of those mindless zombies _

_ THEM _

_ Just kill me _

_ STOP _

_ Slice me down _

_ End this curse _

“Hey, focus on me ...and ignore the ..radiance” they said which shocked you, out of the many bugs you have encountered not one of them tried communicating, or try and help for that matter.

You did what they suggested and focused on the bug in front of you.

_ Grab them by the throat and slowly choke the life out of them _

_ Focus.. On.. them… _

“My name is ..qurriel, what would be ...your name?” they said and you made a gesture like you were writing and they pulled out a journal of some kind. They ripped paper out of it and gave it to you along with a pencil.

_ Stab them with the pencil, right in the neck _

_ Focus… on… them…. _

Your twitchy hands made it hard to write but you tried your best and gave the finished word to quirrel. Quirrel took some time but in the end he could read it which was a win for you.

“Virus?” they guess and you slowly nodded 

_ Yes, virus _

_ What i’ve become _

_ Nothing but a virus that needs to be killed _

_ I use to kill infected creature like i am now _

_ I wonder if they felt the same as me _

_ If they did then i did them a favor _

They muttered something again. The whispers grew again and your body grew tense as the infection tried to take control again.

_ Its not too late _

_ Kill him _

_ Slit his neck _

_ Let the blood flow freely _

_ Your nothing _

_ You have become what you’ve despised _

_ How does that feel? _

_ Does it make you angry _

_ Use that anger _

_ Kill him _

_ Better yet.. _

_ Injure him _

_ So we can invade his dreams.. _

_ Do it. _

_ DO IT. _

**_DO IT._ **

“Hey, its okay..focus on me” quirrel said again

_ Focus on quirrel.. _

You take your hands off your eyes and focus on quirrel. You shed some tears and they came out looking like the vile infection that invaded your dreams.

_ Focus on quirrel… _

“How long ...have you been... like this?” quirrel says and hands you the paper and pencil you dropped.

_ Focus on quirrel... _

You wrote on the page and some of the words you wrote even you couldn’t even read but you still gave it to quirrel, who at first wasn’t able to read it. But after a few minutes he got the message. He relayed the message to you to see if he got it right. He did. After you nodded he continued this game of questions.

_ Focus on quirrel.. _

“How were ...you infected?” quirrel asked.

_ Focus.. _

You wrote more shaky words on the paper, which was now stained orange from the infection you bear. You hand the paper to quirrel and he takes a while to decode the scribbles but he does despite these troubles. Like last time he relayed what he got to you to if he was right, which he was. 

Focus… 

_ Why is he asking all these questions? _

_ Why is he so friendly to someone who could lose control and kill them any second? _

_ Fo..cus...  _

“Would you ..like to come with ...me?” quirrel asked and you nodded

_ Fo...cus… _

You pondered over the question. Your first instinct was to say no for two reasons, one being you just met quirrel and you didn't trust him that much. But this was discarded because if he truly was friendly you would have companionship, which you really wanted. The second reason was you didn't want to leave this area. The reason behind this is that the blue lake calmed the whispers and made yourself easier to control, and even in the blue lake it was still hard to control yourself. But quirrel seemed to know how to ignore these whispers so maybe he could help you.

_ Just… focus… _

After a tense internal battle, you decide to go with quirrel. You gave quirrel a nod and he started to walk, you followed. As soon as you left the blue lake the whispers instantly doubled in intensity but you did what quirrel said and focused on the world around you. During the trip quirrel had to stop every now and then to look at his map, which you also looked at. You were surprised to say the least, the map was huge. You were big in exploring yet you haven't even explored half of what quirrel has. You silently reminded yourself to ask quirrel later how he explored that much.

_ Whispers.. Cant.. control me..  _

The trip took a while but not unbearably long. The trip seemed to end at a well that went up to the surface, where you guessed more uninfected bugs were. If that was true you really didn't want to go up because they most likely would kill you on the spot, regardless of what quirrel said. But you can't really blame them, you would do the same. Quirrel and you climbed up the well and when you got up you saw a village.

_ Don't..lose...control... _

You were about to go back down the well, fearing your life, when quirrel headed in the opposite direction of the town. You follow quirrel into some abandoned house that was made of one room that had a weird amount of candles in it. 

_ Fo…. cus… _

“I have friends that wouldn’t… understand you and they would ..hurt you so i'm going to ...leave you here, and don’t ...worry I'll be back” quirrel said 

_ F..o..c..u..s.. _

You collapsed onto your knees. You mutely cursed the infection for making your once an always exploring body into a frail husk that barely could stand. 

_ Focus…  _

_ On.. _

_ … _

_ What? _

Your weakened focus finally snapped, leaving you to the controlling nature of the infection.

_ You try so hard to protect this bug _

_ Why? _

_ He can’t cure you _

_ No one can _

_ You are alone _

_ Does that make you angry? _

_ Use that anger to kill them.. _

_ It's their fault _

_ Kill them _

_ KILL THEM _

**_KILL THEM._ **

Your head is filled with thoughts of killing quirrel. You put your hands on your mask and claw at them, hoping that you would claw out the infection. Quirrel bent down and said something but it was drowned out in the whispers. He grabbed your hands and held them still, making you stop clawing at the whispers. The infection managed to take control of one of your arms and it yanked it out of quirrels grip and went down for your nail holster. But the radiance didn't find any nail their because you left it at the blue lake. 

You did this on purpose just in case this happened and under all of the whispers, you thanked yourself for the idea. 

_ You think we can’t kill him without a nail? _

_ I will make you strangle him _

_ Make you look him in the eye _

_ As the life slowly melts out of his body _

_ And you will love it _

_ Every second of it _

_ I will make sure of it _

_ I'll rip away every good memory _

_ And leave you with nothing _

_ You fear becoming one of the mindless husks that i have _

_ And i will make you into one _

_ You can’t win _

_ I hope you know that. _

You fight for control and the infection loses. But the whispers remain. They snap at your mind and soul, tearing apart every inch they get. But you survive.

_ Is that a blessing? _

_ Or a curse? _

You think back to quirrel and you use his advice. You focus on quirrel, who is trying to calm you down. The whispers go to the back of your head and you stop trying to claw at yourself. You look at your hands, which are covered in your orange blood. 

“Are you ...ok now?” quirrel asked and you slowly nodded, it was half of the truth.

“I'm going to… lock the door.. If thats.. Ok with you” quirrel asked and you nodded again, knowing exactly why he asked and you were worried about the same thing.

“I'm going ..to go now” quirrel says and leaves the house locking the door behind him.

You feel a weight lift off your shoulders as you realize you don't have to worry about being in control anymore. Your mind was getting tired of fighting the relentless whispers and you happily let go to have your mind rest. The infection took control of you and started clawing at the door. After an hour of trying to break the door down the infection ceased all control, and the whispers fled with it. 

You sat on the ground, enjoying the moment of you not having to battle the infection. You wished there were more moments like this, but knowing the infection, they wouldn’t let there be. Your hands hurt from the careless scratching the infection made you do, making them bleed orange infection. You wondered if the infection vanished out of your body if there would be any of you left afterwards as you bleed infection, you leak infection, and your mind is almost nothing but the infections controlling whispers. You knew what the infection said is right, quirrel doesn’t have a cure and even if he did you still couldn’t live without the infection.

_ Maybe i deserve to die? _

_ Im nothing but the infections puppet _

_ It doesn’t matter how much i fight, i will fall eventually _

_ Then i will hurt the ones i’ve tried so hard to help _

_ Even if somehow a cure is developed I will die when I use it. _

_ So is there really a point? _

You felt the void, or now infection, begging you to sleep. You usually didn’t sleep as when you did, the worst nightmares occur and you woke up with horrible whispers in your head. But eventually you have to sleep, so you can refresh your mind for the next onslaught of whispers. After a while you started falling into the abyss of sleep.


	3. infection is a fate worse than death..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (word count goal: 5,000)
> 
> (actual word count: 7,736)

\---Quirrel’s POV---

You walked into your house and into your room. Elderbug and hornet were in your room talking to each other. Hornet spotted you first.

“Where were you?’ Hornet asked and you took your time to answer.

“I was just.. walking around” you lied.

“I’ve been here for a while, plus i haven't seen you around” elderbug said, you already knew what they were going to say next.

“Tell me truthfully, have you been underground?” hornet said.

You stayed silent but that might as well been a yes.

“Quirrel are you stupid, honestly?” Hornet started and you got ready for a scolding from hornet, like a child would do when they have gotten in trouble.

“You know how dangerous it is down there, even without the infection” hornet said with a sharp tone, but not yelling.

You were tempted to tell her you saw an infected creature down there but you knew it would lead to many questions, and lets just say you aren’t the best liar.

“Do it again and i’ll lock you inside your own house” hornet threatened.

You sighed but accepted defeat, as you didn’t trust virus to be by themselves for too long.

“Ok hornet, but i still ..will get up and explore”

“Just not ..underground” you say, hoping that hornet would be fine with it.

“Ok quirrel, but i'm keeping an eye on you” hornet said in a warning manner.

You looked around for shadow but you didn't see them so you took it up with hornet.

“Where is ..shadow?”

“Oh, I forgot to tell you”

“While we were in the crystal peaks we found another vessel called ruby”

“Shadow is out playing with them”

_ Another vessel, what is that? Three now? _

_ How many vessels are still left? _

“Also, where is.. Hollow?” you asked as you remembered that's the reason she went there in the first place.

“I didn't find them” hornet said, with a little worry in her voice.

You were really starting to worry

_ Hollow had seen us _

_ Why didn't he come? _

_ Why did he run? _

“Can I meet.. ruby?” you asked and hornet nodded.

Hornet and elderbug, who had been really silent, left the room. Hornet rentered the room with a vessel whose mask was covered in crystals, how fitting that their name is crystal related. It was hard to see beneath the crystals, but ruby had horns just like ghosts, except that the left one is shorter. Ruby saw you and walked over to you.

“Hi ruby, my name… is quirrel”

“Hornet already told.. Me yours” you said in a friendly manner.

Ruby gave you a hug, which you weren’t expecting but accepted. The hug lasted too long so after a while you pulled away from the hug. After that, ruby pointed at your wound. You were about to spill the truth but you didn’t know if they would take the news that their sibling stabbed you well. You looked at hornet, looking for an answer. You got one as she nodded and you let it loose.

“Shadow stabbed.. Me”

Ruby looked confused and shook their head in disbelief.

“I think they mistook me ..as a dangerous bug” 

Ruby looked at the door, where shadow was peaking through from the other side, which you didn’t even notice till now. Shadow had their head down in shame and when they realized they were spotted they closed the door and you heard them walk away. Ruby opened the door and ran after them.

“I think i buffed.. That one up” you said to hornet, who agreed.

“I'm going to sleep... now” you said

“Ok, and you better keep the rule of no underground on the top of your mind”

You nodded in understanding and hornet left shortly afterwards. You soon after fell victim to the pull of sleep.

\---Hornet’s POV---

You left quirrel’s room and went outside, where elderbug was standing next to his signature bench. You sat on the bench to think about what to do when it hit you. You needed to check the underground for survivors, though you didn’t know if there were any. You got off the bench even though you only had been on it for 5 seconds and headed to the well. You heard elderbug sigh and say something about the “deadly underground” but you ignored him and kept going.

When you got to the well you jumped down it. You were almost thrown off balance when you landed due to the momentum of your jump but you recovered before it happened. You knew that if there were any survivors that they’d be at the city of tears. You were about to run towards that area when you noticed orange puddles of infection, this was worrying as it wasnt there last time you were here and it was recent as it would have disappeared if left too long. You looked around to see the source of it and you found a trail of it.

You followed the trail of infection droplets, hoping to find the creature and kill it before the infection spreads from it. As you followed questions bubbled in your head.

_ Why is the infection still here? _

_ Is the radiance not dead? _

_ That can’t be _

_ It’s just some creature that is still infected for some reason _

_ I hope _

The trail was long and it ended at the blue lake where a big puddle of infection laid on the shore, which only raised more questions. 

_ Wasn’t quirrel here? _

_ And why does it end at the well? _

_ Unless.. _

_ No  _

You rushed back to dirtmouth and ran towards quirrel’s house. Elderbug saw you in a panicked state and he asked why as you passed him but you ignored him. When elderbug didn’t get an answer he started running after you. You almost broke quirrel’s door as you bust into his house and then into his room. Quirrel was in his bed, sleeping, but when you bust the door open he woke up and drew his nail.

Quirrel then saw it was you and put away his nail, but not before yelling at you.

“What in the radiances name are you doing!?!” quirrel yelled.

“Quirrel are you infected?” you bluntly asked, which made quirrel confused.

“What?”

“I saw infection puddles coming from where you said you were when you went underground”

“So are you infected?”

“Of course not!” quirrel said.

“Am i showing any signs of it?”

He had a point but this answer gave you another question.

“Then why is their infection puddles down there?”

“I don’t know” quirrel said with.. Something in his voice, but you couldn’t place what it was.

Elderbug, who had been watching all of this unfold, piped up.

“He’s lying, he always has that tone when he lies”

“Quirrel..” you said and he started sweating.

“Ok fine, im lying ..but it’s for the good ...of someone's safety” quirrel admitted.

“Quirrel did you bring an infected monster up near dirtmouth!?!” you yelled and drew your nail.

“No.. I mean.. Yes.. but-”

“I WILL kill you if you don’t tell us where it is” you said and pressed your nail against quirrel’s throat, you really didn’t want to kill quirrel but if he was a danger to everyone he is around, you will have to.

“You don’t ..understand!” quirrel yelled.

“No quirrel, YOU don’t understand!”

“What if they hurt someone, or god forbid, the infection starts to spread AGAIN!”

Quirrel put his hands on your needle and pressed it against his own throat even more than you already were.

“Go ahead, kill me” quirrel said daringly, it almost made you do as he said.

“I won’t tell you ...how to get to them”

“Then I will find it myself” you said and sheathed your needle.

“Elderbug, make him stay here” you said and left.

\---Quirrel’s POV---

Hornet left the room with elderbug standing guard, which wasn’t ideal. 

“Elderbug..” you started

“Quirrel if what hornet said is true.. Then I really have no choice”

You sighed, if he wasn’t going to let you then you would have to use force, you got up and walked up to elderbug.

“You aren’t convincing me this time” elderbug said.

“That’s not ..what i'm trying” you said and pushed elderbug to the ground.

While elderbug was on the ground you left your room and locked it behind you, leaving elderbug in there. You heard him bang on the door behind you as you ran outside. As soon as you were outside you looked for hornet. You saw hornet going into random houses and looking in them, so were the other vessels. This relieved you as the actual house that virus was in was out near the well. While hornet did that you ran to the house that virus was in and unlocked the door.

As soon as you entered you saw virus writing on the scrap of paper you gave him. Virus saw you and gave you a confused tilt of the head.

“We have to ..go now!” you said in a hushed yell.

Virus got up quickly and you started to run to the well. Virus was the first one to descend and you followed shortly after. 

“Virus go to the ..blue lake” you said and got ready to go back up the well when virus stopped you.

They tugged at you and you knew exactly what it meant.

“Virus.. I can’t come with” you said

“I might meet you ..there later”

Virus shook their head.

“Virus ..they will kill yo-”

You stopped talking when hornet jumped down the well and spotted you both. You unsheathed your nail and got in front of virus.

“Virus.. Go”

Virus backed up but stopped before they went too far.

“Quirrel just stop it” hornet spit out bitterly.

“You first” you rebutted.

“Quirrel why are you risking your life for this infected.. Thing?”

“It's not a thing..hornet, and its not infected...either”

“If they really were infected, then...i’d be dead ten times over” you said, which couldn’t be closer to the truth

“Quirrel the infection could be evolving, it might be trying to gain your trust so it can kill all of us” 

“You haven’t spent time ...with them so you won’t understand”

“Look at them quirrel!”

“They are leaking infection!” Hornet pointed out, which you couldn’t argue with.

Hornet started approaching you and you got in a defensive position.

“Virus, run. Now” you said again only for virus to shake their head.

“Quirrel.. I'm giving you one last chance” hornet said with a tinge of sadness in their voice.

“You know my.. Answer” You said.

Hornet charged you and swung her needle but you blocked it and were able to give a weak slice to hornets arm in a counter, which is more than you thought you could do. Hornet backed up and got ready to swing again. Hornet swung and you blocked it again but hornet used her free arm to knock you off balance and onto the ground. Hornet put her foot on you and disarmed you by throwing your nail to the side. You were disappointed in yourself for not being able to last two attacks and even more disappointed that you couldn’t get virus to safety. 

“Quirrel.. I'm sorry..” hornet said and rose her needle.

Just before hornet could bring her nail down something hit her back and made her scream in pain. Hornet turned around and swung at whatever hit her but she must have gotten blocked as you heard metal hitting metal. Hornet put her foot off you and you jumped up the second you could.

It turns out virus had taken your nail and was using it to fight hornet, which you didn’t know how to feel about.

_ What if they lost control and killed hornet? _

_ Or me? _

Hornet swung at virus again but they blocked the attack and delivered a counter slash to hornets legs with ease. Hornet was sent to her knees after the blow and virus used this opportunity to kick her to the ground. Virus put a foot on hornet and put your nail to her throat. Viruses head was twitching and their hands were shaky. 

“Virus don’t do it!”

Virus looked at you and gave you a confused look.

“Despite everything she’s done, she’s still my friend” you said.

Virus looked at hornet and back at you. Virus rose the nail…

And impaled it into the ground.

Virus got off hornet and walked over near you. Hornets face was priceless, she was in visible disbelief and her surprise was great. 

“Impossible..” she muttered.

You walked over to hornet and offered her a hand, which she didn’t accept. Hornet erased all signs of her surprise and got up. 

“Quirrel..” Hornet started

“I'm sorry.. I was wrong and I almost killed you due to my belief of it”

You were blown away by her apology, you didn’t even know she was capable of one.

“Who are you and what did you do with hornet?” you joked, which wasn’t an appropriate time to do so but that's nothing but a better reason to make a joke in your opinion.

“Don’t push it” hornet said with some familiar anger rising, its funny how fast she can change emotions.

“And it.. I mean virus”

“Can come into town with us” hornet said while you took your nail out of the ground and holstered it.

“Wait real-” you said but were cut off by hornet, oh how you hate her but like her at the same time.

“But, if it loses contro-”

“They” you corrected, which made hornet give you a death glare.

“If they lose control then i will kill them” hornet said and virus seemed to agree, which you didn’t know how to feel about.

Hornet had nothing else to say and she was quite angry at you so she left without another word, and thankfully without you ending on a needle. You looked at virus, who was looking at their infection covered hands. 

“You ok?” you asked and virus looked up at you, they hesitated to answer but they ended up nodding.

“Well, let’s go then” you said and started walking with virus following.

You climbed up the well and walked into town with virus, which you never thought would happen. Elderbug was the first to see you and virus, he gave you a glare, but when he saw virus it all melted into fear and worry.

“Why is-” elderbug started but you ended it before it could start.

“They spared hornets life when they could have easily killer her”

“And you already know what that shows” you said but elderbug still had fear in his eyes

“Quirrel you know that it’s still a danger to all of us, even if it doesn’t mean it”   
  


“But-” you started but elderbug cut you off, what is it with people and cutting me off?

“I can’t live with this, i'm going to hornet” elderbug said and stormed off.

You looked at virus, who was visibly upset. You understood why and realized that everyone in the town would have the same reaction, not that you blame anyone here for having that reaction

“Ignore the old bug, im happy that you are here” you said and virus seemed to cheer up a bit.

You moved on into your house and you saw hornet talking with elderbug, actually it was more like elderbug was screaming at hornet and hornet was trying to calm him down. 

“That thing is a danger to me and you! You have to understand!” elderbug screamed at hornet.

“It spared my life, and i have to repay it for that” hornet said calmly to elderbug.

“So your willing to pay everyone else's lives for that!” elderbug screamed.

“Give it a chance”

“If your asking for me to give the infection another chance to ruin everyone's life, then no i'm not doing that!”

“Have some sense!”

“Ok how about this elderbug, if something happens, then it goes away?”

“That something could kill us all!”

“You have to understand, quirrel is attached to it, and im not sure he will forgive us if we just kill it without a reason”   
  


“To the lords! I don’t give any care if quirrel doesn’t forgive us!”

“I care about my safety!”

“Im done with you, leave and take your stubbornness with you!” Hornet said, now yelling.

Elderbug would kill hornet if he could, but he couldn’t so he left your house with a slam of the door. Hornet realized you have been standing there the entire time.

“Quirrel you have to understand..”

“You know what? If you want me to leave, then just say”

“And I do understand, but you have to understand me as well”

“Here, i’ll sweeten the deal for you”

“If anything happens, i’ll leave with virus”

“Quirrel stop.”

“Where would you go?”

“Underground?”

“You know if you do that your putting yourself in danger”

“Hornet, i have nothing anymore, ghost is gone, madam is gone, my entire past has escaped me!”

“Hornet no offense, but i can’t count you as a friend because all you do is scream at me and just be angry in general”

“So what do I do?”

“I was going to kill myself you know, but ghost stopped me”

“And I've realized, if you have nothing left, then help others so they won’t be in the same situation as you”

Hornet was surprised by your story and you thought you saw some sadness in her eyes.

“Quirrel, you know that they are a lost cause”

You would continue your argument but you realized virus left the room, and due to the things that were said, you don’t think they are in the best state. You gave hornet a death glare, you really meant the death part, and left the house. You looked around and didn’t see anyone besides elderbug at his bench. You walked up to elderbug, who didn’t look happy.

“Have you seen virus?” you asked him.

“Yes i have”

“Where are they?” 

  
“they went down the well” eldebug said.

“Quirrel.. I know i’ve been harsh about it being here, and i want you to tell them im sorry”

“Why the change of heart, and why so swiftly?” you asked.

“They gave me this” elderbug said and took out a flower, it was glowing light blue.

“Its just like ghost’s..”

You paused at the mention of ghost but you continued before you could think about it any more

“I will” you said and took off towards the well.

You carelessly jumped down the well and ended up landing on your face because of it. You shook the pain away and got up. You looked around and saw virus, sitting on the ground staring at their hands. You wondered if they saw your amazing faceplant. You walked up to them and they stared at you. You sat down next to them.

“Did you give elderbug a flower?”

They nodded.

“Well, that one flower, it changed his opinion of you”

“He wants you to come back now”

Virus shook their head.

“Why?”

“You have shown many times over that you are in control”

Virus took the small piece of paper you gave them, which you didn’t know they still had, and wrote on it. They soon gave you the paper and you saw actually legible words, which surprised you. After you got over the shock, you read what it said.

_ They speak truth, what if i infect you? _

“It won’t happen, if it could you’d think I would be showing signs already if it were true”

Virus wrote more on the paper and showed you the finished work.

_ I no understand, why risk you life over me. _

_ I not worth, i only hurt, I see fear in others eyes. _

_ Because me. _

“I risk my life because i don’t want you to end up like what i was”

“I used to be like you, i thought i had nothing so i..” you choked on the words as the painful memories flowed back to you.

“I.. almost killed myself”

“But then one of my friends showed up and helped me”

“They made me realize that life was worth living”

“I don't want you to be me if my friend wasn’t there”

“Just don’t give up hope, ok?”

Virus nodded and got up with you. You both went up to the well and got ready to climb.

\---Viruses POV---

You reached the top of the well quickly as the climb wasn’t a long one, and this was for the better because your frail body could barely handle the one you just did, let alone a bigger one. You looked at dirtmouth as you waited for quirrel to join you. You had a feeling of dread well up in your gut.

_ I can’t infect others _

_ I can’t lose control _

_ Quirrel said i can’t _

The whispers of the infection have been quiet for a long time, you also felt better today and this was worrying but also good. 

_ Maybe the infection went away _

_ But then why am I still leaking infection? _

_ What if it comes back but stronger? _

_ I won't be able to keep control _

_ I'll kill quirrel _

_ Then i'll be alone  _

_ I have to kill myself _

_ I have to _

_ Before i hurt quirrel _

_ I have t- _

“You ok?”   
  
You were broken out of your thoughts by quirrels question, which you were thankful for as you knew what it would have lead to. You turned to quirrel and nodded. Quirrel and you started walking towards dirtmouth. You didn’t like the town because you had to be around so many bugs and last time they all despised you. You grew tense as you passed elderbug, who was the one who hated you the most. But this faded away as he smiled when you passed he actually gave a “thank you” when you passed.

_ That flower… _

You had taken that flower from a grave that you saw and you kept it as the flower was one of the things that reminded you of the good in this world. The reason you gave it to elderbug as a last gift that they would perhaps give to quirrel before you went back to the blue lake and killed yourself.

_ Kill.. _

_ Myself.. _

You shut down your own thoughts before your fragile mind broke again and quirrel had to fish you out of it. Quirrel lead you into his house and you saw a red cloaked bug, who was called hornet, talking to other siblings. One was painted all black and the other had many crystals stuck in their mask. You ignored them as quirrel took you into his room.

“You are going to sleep in here with me”

“The reason this is, is because the other room has hornet and two other vessels in it so its too crowded”

_ No, they actually didn’t want an infected bug like me in their room just in case i lost control and ki- _

“Is that ok?”

You nodded. 

“Well, that's all I really wanted to show you so you can do whatever now”

You made a writing gesture and quirrel gave you a piece of paper from his journal. You would of used the one you already had but the paper was soaked with infection, so you got rid of it. You took out the pencil you had and started writing. You were proud with what you wrote as it was actually legible and quirrel didn’t have to guess what the word was. You gave quirrel the paper when you got done writing. The paper said “ _ did me see siblings? What name? Will be scared?” _

Quirrel read the words and smiled.

“Yes, you saw other vessels”

“One is named shadow and the other ruby, you probably can figure out which is which”

“Why don’t we go meet them?”

Your sore body complained but you got up and nodded anyways. Quirrel went out into the main room, which is where the siblings were. Shadow was the first one to notice you but ruby followed not close behind. When they saw you they put their hands on their nails and got ready for you to attack, but you never did.

_ Just wait till the whispers come back, then I will lose control. _

_ I will hurt them _

_ I don’t want to hurt them _

_ I need to kil- _

“Guys, its ok, they won’t attack”

Your siblings both gave a confused look at quirrel.

“They can resist the infection”

Ruby was the first to take their hand off their nail but when shadow saw their sibling walking up to you, they joined in too. Shadow gave you a handshake while ruby gave you a hug, which made your infected heart melt. Ruby actually hugged you too hard as your back screamed in pain, ruby noticed this and let go. when they let go your leg gave out underneath you and you fell onto the ground. 

Ruby tried to help you up but quirrel takes over and does it for them. Ruby looks down in shame as Quirrel helps you into his room.

“You should sleep, as ..your body is growing weak”

“And I think ..its getting dark, so everyone will be ..going to sleep also” quirrel says.

Quirrel helps you walk to the bed and you lay down on it. The bed sheets gets stained orange as infection leaks out your eye and onto the bed. The hole in your mask also leaks infection to help the bed staining efforts. Quirrel looks at the bed and you can see he is reluctant to lay on it next to you.

_ He sees _

_ He knows that he could get infected if he touches the orange blood. _

_ I should leave so i never risk him getting infected _

_ I need to leave _

You try getting up but your legs decide to not work and send you tumbling into the ground. You hit the ground mask first and your glass like mask cracks. The crack doesn’t feel bad as it doesn’t hurt to much but you can tell it isn’t small. Quirrel helps you back onto the bed and inspects your crack. Quirrel leaves and comes back with bandages in his hands. He patches up your new crack and also puts bandages on your major injury, the hole. Quirrel manages to patch the hole entirely, making the orange blood stop leaking from it.

Quirrel lays you back down and rubs his eyes, obviously tired. Quirrel gets a towel and puts it on the bed so he doesn’t touch the orange blood that you leaked on to it. Quirrel then lays on the towel. The bed is pretty big so there is a comfortable amount of distance between you and quirrel but you still find yourself going to the very edge of the bed. You don’t mind sharing the bed with quirrel, actually you would prefer it, but you fear that a drop of your infectious blood will touch quirrel and infect him. 

Quirrel didn’t seem to worry and fell asleep with ease but you were the complete opposite. 

_ I don’t want to infect quirrel _

_ I don’t want to have quirrel feel what i feel _

_ Infection is a fate worse than death. _

Your body started forcing you to sleep after you refused it for too long, which was actually a blessing as your mind was going into a dark spiral of thoughts.

-

_ You have a nail in your hand, you were pointing it at quirrel’s throat. Whispers yelled into your ear telling you to plunge your nail into him. _

_ But i can’t  _

_ Its quirrel _

_ I can’t _

_ I can’t.. _

_ I.. _

_ I can.. _

_ The whispers grow in intensity until you can’t even hear your own thoughts.  _

_ “Virus fight it, i know you can” quirrel says, but you don’t even hear it before the voices drown it out _

_ Your arm starts moving without you telling it to and it presses against quirrels throat more, drawing blood. Your mind is stripped apart by the voices and you struggle to recall who quirrel is. _

_ Wait? _

_ Quirrel? _

_ Who is… _

_ Quirrel? _

_ Your mind breaks as the voices prod at it, making you forget yourself and everyone else. You press your nail against the bugs throat and then abruptly slice it. The bugs hands shoot up to its neck as they try and stop the blood, but failing. the bugs eyes slowly drains of soul till there is nothing but an empty husk left. The voices then all stop, leaving you with nothing. _

_ Who.. _

_ Am i? _

_ Why.. _

_ Did I kill them? _

_ - _

You jolt up and quickly identify your surroundings as quirrel’s room. Quirrel, who was reading a book nearby, jumped as he saw the abrupt movement.

“Are you ok?” quirrel said and rushed over to you.

You slowly nodded as your head suddenly exploded with voices. You put your hands on your head as a sharp pain followed the voices.

_ Kill him _

_ You have to _

_ If you don’t you will infect him _

_ You don’t want that do you? _

_ Then kill him _

_ Do it before its too late _

Quirrel tries to help you by trying to get you focus on him but he fails as your mind is assaulted by the controlling commands. Your entire body starts to burn as you feel the infection try and take control. You fight with all your shattered mind and somehow win as the infection slowly withdraws from your mind, leaving your now even more shattered mind. 

Both sides of your mind are now broken, one side being nothing but degrading thoughts and suicidal ones as well and the other being the voices that try and control you, leaving only the deepest part of your mind that is safe to wander. This safe part of your mind is hard to find, and even harder to stay in. the easiest thing to do is just not think, be hollow like you were meant to be. You didn’t like being hollow so you avoided that option at all costs, but now with your minds safe part shrinking, you don’t know what to do. 

_ I can’t keep doing this _

_ I’m not as strong as a god _

_ I will lose control soon  _

_ I can’t.. _

“Virus?” quirrel asks and backs up, fearing you.

You snap out of your thoughts. You nod, a blunt lie, and quirrel audibly sighs his relief.

“You scared me”

You get off the bed and realize that your side is entirely stained with orange, with it being slightly wet as well. You ask for another piece of paper and you write:

_ sorry I ruin bed _

_ sorry for scare _

_ had bad dream _

you give quirrel the piece of paper.

“Its fine, to both things”

“And are you feeling better at all?”

Quirrel gave the paper back and you pushed underneath your cloak. You thought about the question, Your body was a little refreshed but you knew the second you got up that it would change and you still felt sluggish and sick. And with the return of the voices, your mind was a minefield of death, someone else's or your own. So considering all this, you shook your head. Quirrel frowned at your answer but said nothing about it.

“I'm going to eat, you can come with if you want.”

Quirrel said and left the room, you followed. When you entered the kitchen, you saw hornet eating at the table while the other vessels were playing with each other. Quirrel smiled when he saw the vessels. Hornet saw quirrel and pointed at the table, which had a plate on it with something on it.

“Your food is on the table, i only managed to get two tiks” hornet nonchalantly said to quirrel

Quirrel sat down on the table and started eating the tik while you watched shadow and ruby play. They seemed to be playing tag and you knew this because once one of them touched the other they started running away and vise versa with the other. You had to admit, it made you smile. Quirrel took notice of you watching them and tried to get you to join them.

“Why don’t you play with them?”

You thought about it but shook your head. You took out the paper you had and wrote:

_ I'm too slow _

_ Too clumsy _

_ I would always be it _

_ I would ruin the game _

You give quirrel the paper and he frowns when he reads it.

“You have to stop being so down on yourself” quirrel says.

_ Who else is there to blame _

_ Not the infection _

_ I'm the one who can’t fight it _

_ I can’t best it _

_ And that's my fault _

_ So who do I blame besides myself? _

You will away your thoughts and resume staring at the vessels.

_ So happy _

_ How do they manage that? _

_ Their father abandoned them _

_ They have been through pain that most others haven’t _

_ Yet they still live happily _

_ I wish I could do the same _

The vessels finally noticed you and quirrel and they walked up to you and tried to drag you into their game by tugging on your orange stained cloak. You tried resisting their tugs but your body weren’t strong enough and you were slowly losing your strength. Quirrel chuckled at your efforts. 

“Seems they want you to join” quirrel said with a laugh

You gave in to the vessels and let them drag you off the chair, they tugged on you so hard that when you got off the chair you fell onto the ground. Ruby gave you a small tap and then ran away with shadow. They went and hid around the house while you still tried to get up after the knocked you off the chair. You realized they changed the game from tag into hide and seek and then tried looking around for the vessels.

You left the kitchen and entered the main room, this room was a mess with papers and books littering the ground so it wouldn’t be hard to hide in here. You went to suspicious piles of books and searched in the pile, yes they were that big. Once you were sure that no vessel was in the book you left and entered the guest bedroom. The room was bare so finding a hiding place would be difficult. The only place you knew they could hide was under the bed. You checked under the bed and saw nothing besides a lone book.

You left the guest bedroom and went into quirrel’s room. When you entered you saw a figure dart under his bed. You didn’t want to ruin the fun immediately so you pretended you didn’t see it. You slowly walked around the room, like you were looking for them. The room was bare so anyone with a brain could figure out you were just stalling but you did it anyway. After you stalled enough you slowly walked over to the bed. You bent down slowly. When you looked under the bed you saw shadow and ruby `hiding there. They both ran out of the room like lightning and you tried your best to keep up with them

You didn’t have even a tiny glint of hope of catching the speedy vessels as your slow self could barely run at half the speed of the tiny things. The chase ended when you tripped over some books in the main room and the vessels got away into the kitchen. You slowly got up, with your really sore body and walked into the kitchen. When you got in the kitchen you locked the door behind you so the vessels couldn’t escape you again. The vessels were nowhere in sight so you walked around, hoping to find them. You didn’t see any place for the vessels to hide so you just stopped and looked around the room.

Quirrel was staring at you, smiling and hornet wasn’t in the kitchen. You looked at quirrel again, he wore a knowing smile so you marched up to him and gave a confused look.

“I don’t know where they are” quirrel said, an obvious lie. 

Out of the corner of your eye you saw the door of one of the cupboards move. You turned your head to fully face it and you approached it. When you got to it, the door opened suddenly, hitting you in the face. Shadow dashed out of the cupboard and to the door, which was locked. Shadow fumbled with the knob and realized it was locked. You by now had recovered from the door to the face and were running to shadow. Shadow unlocked the door and was about to open it when you grabbed them and threw them onto the ground. 

You put your hand around their neck so they didn’t escape. You could see actual fear in shadows eyes and it made you laugh internally. Orange infection leaked onto their cloak and it seemed to scare them even more. 

“Ok, you got them, you can let go now” quirrel said after he realized how long you were holding shadow for.

You gave quirrel a disapproving look but you obeyed and let go. You then went back up to the cupboards and opened them one by one. After opening about 5 cupboards you found ruby in a cupboard. Ruby tried to run but you grabbed them and made them look you in the eyes, just like shadow they got scared. You let them go after you had your fun and ruby scampered towards shadow, who seemed to be laughing. It was only now that you realized how tired you were.

You were forced onto one knee as the other leg stopped working. Ruby helped you walk to the chair you were sitting at before the vessels pulled you off.

“Your tired already?” quirrel asked.

You completely forgot you were infected while you were playing with the vessels but as you heard quirrel, reality came back to you. You slumped down as the painful memories came back, ruining your good mood. As soon as the good mood vanished you found yourself missing the feeling, as the last time you felt happiness was a long time ago. Quirrel noticed this and you could see in his eyes that he blamed himself for killing your good mood.The two vessels switched their focus from you to quirrel and they both went over to him and started poking him. 

“What is it that you want?” quirrel asked.

Shadow pointed at quirrel while ruby did nothing.

“You want me to play with you?”

They both nodded.

“Im not feeling the best right now, but maybe later”

Both the vessels gave quirrel a sad look but accepted the answer. Shadow poked ruby and ran away, ruby shortly followed. You put your attention back on quirrel. You took out the scrap of paper you had an wrote on it. You wrote

_ Why no feel good? _

You gave the note to quirrel and he read it.

“Well, i just woke up with it, so i dont know why”

_ He woke up with it? _

_ Is it infection? _

_ Did i infec- _

“I know what your thinking, its not infection, its just probably a common sickness”

You took the paper back and wrote more on it. You wrote:

_ How feel? _

Quirrel read the note.

“Just tired, and maybe a bit nauseous”

_ Tired? _

_ You feel tired in the early stages of infection _

_ Nauseous too _

_ Did i infect quirrel? _

_ No no no n- _

“Many sicknesses make bugs tired so im not worrying”

“And you shouldn’t either”

You considered what quirrel said, and he was right. It was most likely a normal sickness. 

“Maybe you should rest a while, since your tired”

You shook your head, if you get this tired after only playing for a few minutes, then you would have to go to bed every five seconds. You would just fight through it, after all, thats what you have done everyday since you’ve gotten infected. You wrote yet another message on the paper you had, when you finished you gave it to quirrel. It said:

_ Where hornet? _

“She went out looking for hollow, a friend we had”

“I got injured, as you can see, and they thought i died and left”

“Or thats what im guessing”

_ Hollow? _

_ As in the hollow knight? _

_ Oh how i hate them _

_ Them being so perfect _

_ Them getting to survive _

_ While we get thrown away _

_ Sometimes i wish they felt something _

_ So they could feel pain, anger, sadness _

_ Like i have _

_ I wish they could feel the burn of the infection _

_ Like i feel _

_ But why would they leave over quirrels thought death? _

_ Did they have feelings the entire time? _

_ But the king would of known _

_ Maybe i should feel bad for them _

_ Maybe im too harsh on the poor soul _

Your tugged from your thoughts by Quirrel puting a hand on his head, this might be a small detail to others but to you its anything but. You do that when voices start or when your head hurts.

_ Is he hearing voices? _

_ Is his head hurting? _

_ Is-  _

_ I need to stop worrying _

_ I can’t spread the infection _

_ Thats a silly thought. _

“Im going to go to bed again” quirrel says and departs from the table, his tik still barely touched.

You follow him into his room and you find him sitting on the bed with both his hands on his head. You go up to him and give him a worried look.

“Its just a headache” quirrel says

You give quirrel a weak hug and leave his room.

_ Hes not infected _

\---Quirrel’s POV---

_ Im infected _

You sit on your bed with distant but audible whispers silently talking to you.

_ Kill... virus… _

_ They..are..infected... _

_ They..infected...you.. _

_ They..will...thank..you... _

You ignore the whispers and get up again. You can’t tell anyone for the fear of virus falling into a constant state of self doubt again and hornet would kill you.

_ But wouldn’t they both be a good thing _

_ If i die i can’t spread the infection or hurt others _

_ And if virus leaves he can’t infect anyone either _

_ But i can’t.. _

After fighting with yourself about leaving or not, you decide to leave. You start getting up to leave so you can go down the well but ghost’s mask catch your eyes. You took the mask and put it in your bag. You left your room and put on the most convincing face you could muster. Virus was sitting on now his chair, as the chair had been stained orange and you knew no one would touch that besides virus themself. Virus was watching the vessels play again. Virus spotted you and put on a smile, it made your heart crumble as you knew they would eventually know you are infected as they know the signs of infection better than you. It also ruined the idea of leaving by yourself.

You virus pull out a piece of paper and write on it. They gave you the paper and you read it. It said:

_ Feel better? If not maybe should sleep. _

“Im don’t feel as bad as before but im not better” you said back.

That was sort of the truth as the voices stopped and that did make you feel slightly better. 

“Im going down underground” you say, hoping to still slither away and disappear

Virus quickly scribbled lots of words on a piece of paper and gave it to you. It read:

_ I come with, don’t want you get hurt, also want explore more, i used be explorer, but stop when infection took me, maybe start again? _

“Maybe you should stay here with the vessels, they seem to like you” you said.

Virus shook their head and put more words on the paper, it was starting to get full. The words read:

_ You sick, no safe, i help be safe, please let help _

You frowned because you failed at getting away, but you did want to go down to find hornet. Now is as good as ever.

“Fine, you can come with, but the vessels have to come then as i don’t trust them being by them selves”

Virus nodded and ran to get ruby and shadow, they soon returned with everyone and you went to leave. When you neared the well you took out your map and tried to decide where to go. In the middle of your pondering, virus went up to you and poked you. You looked at them and they had their own map in their hands, it was small having only deepnest, ancient basin, the abyss, kingdoms edge, and resting grounds written on it. Virus was pointing at an area in deepnet that was labeled “mask maker”

“Mask maker? Why would we go there?”

Virus pointed at ruby and then themselves, you guessed is meant that they could fix ruby and maybe fix virus. You had to admit, it was far fetched but any option to help virus at this point was on the table.

“Well, its worth a shot” you said and descended down the well.

\---Hollow’s POV---

You looked at the light, mentally pleading for quirrels safety. The god was grinning and every now and then they laughed.

_ “Its too late, i already have a slight grip on him” _

You were confused what this ment until it hit you like a tram. Your already tortured heart ws hit with another wave of guilt.

_ “Yes, he became friends with an.. Intresting one” _

_ “The friend in question is very infected.. Yet i can’t control them” _

_ “I don’t know why, i just can’t” _

_ “But they act like a carrier” _

You lashed out in your mind, trying to free yourself from the radiances influence but to no avial. 

_ “And now my grip tightens on quirrels mind” _

_ “It is only a matter of time now” _

A burning sensation grows inside your body.

_ “I can do anything, and no one can do anything about it!” _

_ “If only the little knight was still alive, oh how i’d kill for a rematch” _

_ “Well, they actually are still alive, just in the abyss” _

_ “I wonder what they are doing” _

_ “After im done with this, i might go and see for myself” _

You hate her. You hate the power hungry light! You want to tear her to pieces and hear her scream in her final breath.

_ She will die, even if its the last thing i do _


End file.
